Monday, February 29, 2016

Death to the trees

A few days ago I noticed a piece of paper on a tree in the neighboring small street. I didn't read it, but I saw there was a date on it. Then yesterday on our way back from a long stroll we saw that the whole street was full of these notes. Basically each and every tree was decorated with them. Of course, this has raised our curiosity enough to check out what was it all about. 

It was meant for the car owners, asking them not to park their vehicles there, under the trees. The reason was some maintenance works to be carried out in the alley the next day. Or was it specifically alley maintenance? It was a bit difficult to get it right because of the way they had put it. But it definitely sounded like they wanted to get the trees trimmed. Though that should be done by the end of the autumn, and not of the winter - as these are not fruit trees -, or so I heard.

We could find out about it all this morning. They started to work early in the morning with the big electric jigsaws that echoed all around in the vicinity. They stood on top of the mobile cranes to reach up all the way to the highest branches. I'm talking about roughly fifteen trees, all of them taller than the five-story buildings on the other side of the little street.

These trees have stood there for many generations of the people who enjoyed their shades during the summer heat, and lived in all those appartments protected from the strong wind by them. They made the air breathable by refreshing it, and gave nest to so many birds. We could go on with the list about why trees are useful - basically, necessary for us -, but it's too late now, anyhow. 

These giants were not simply trimmed. They were completely removed, down to their trunks, leveled with the very earth they once grew out from. Though they were still alive, growing full canopy, and plenty of new sprouts, twigs and sprigs each year. They could not even be torn down by the huge storm last summer, that took off the roof of the post office nearby.

Did those who have ordered to have them cut down, think it was an activity to mark the leap day this year? A strange interval of time that is there one year, then it's gone for a few others. So these trees were still there in the morning, and gone without a sign by midday.
Maybe that was the idea. I'm not sure. Though it's hard to believe it. Any of it.

Friday, February 26, 2016

It wasn't me

When I left my last job and received all the documents related to tax, and health insurance, they couldn't find the papers from my previous work place, which I'd submitted to them when I started there. There followed a lengthy correspondence about where these official forms could have gone.
Then one day I received a phone call from my colleague who left on the same day as I did. For some reason he was given my paperwork. My boss stated several times, it was not her who gave it to my colleage. She had also questioned it, before this call, if I turned in these papers to them at all. Finally she said that the one who was responsible for this, didn't work there anymore.

At my next work place they didn't want to train me, though the person I should have stepped in for, was about to leave in a few days. I've experienced such situations before, and since I didn't want to go through it again, I left. On my last day my boss wanted me to say goodbye to all, and tell everyone the reason for me leaving so soon was not because it was so difficult to learn the job.

During my search for a new job I have just completed an online language test as requested by an employer. Then, while I was doing the next one, a logical this time, my mobile started to ring. Since I had to finish within a certain time limit, I didn't take it.
When I was ready, and called the number several times, they wouldn't pick it up. Then I called it from my landline, and a man answered, saying he didn't call me. When I read the number to him, he said it was not his, and he didn't understand why my call was re-directed to him. Shortly afterwards they called me from the company who had me do the tests.

Actually, the only thing that made me think about all these cases, was that I've always assumed it was more trendy and also more possible to get away with lying, cheating and the like of it on a grand scale. Now it seems that it has become a part of our everyday "professional" life, almost a necessity to do our job. But then again, where could we learn that from, if not from where it all started; at the very top.
So, the moral of the story is: If you read this - No, it wasn't me.



Thursday, February 25, 2016

We live in a stressful world

So, I've applied to a position at a well-renowned global company, in which they said it was preferred to have Norwegian language skills. I was very happy to receive a confirmation from them within a few days time. So we've agreed on having a short call just to learn a bit more about each other. They've even sent me a description about the job, saying thanks for my being interested in this particular one.

What I was somewhat surprised to see that the job description they sent, and the one of that I've applied for were actually different. Not very much, but basically not about the same job. For instance, Norwegian skills were not mentioned, not even as preferable. This was the main reason I'd sent my application in, as a matter of fact. Anyhow, I thought I should certainly receive answers to all my questions when we talk.

Well, it did not happen exactly so. Otherwise it was a very nice and happy conversation. But I would lie if I said it was anything close to show an informative nature. It is one thing that this was a screening call, so they could not tell me about the abbreviations used in the announcement, or about the working hours. But the fact that I've applied to a different position didn't seem to effect them either. Though I've explained why I was interested in the job I've actually seeked.

However, I could be completely sure about one thing during this short chat. They highlighted this several times, so I could become fully aware of it - this was a stressful job. To do so, I was presented a question whether I have worked in a stressful position before. I said, yes, ever since I've started to work in customer services, it has been rather stressful, so I know all about it.

But my interviewer was obviously a tiny bit stressed out, sighing quite deeply, and asking me yes, but do I see this is an administrative position, that's why it is so stressful. I confirmed that I understood what she meant, as in IT support - where I have worked, that is - it is rather important to document every piece of information. I have also added that I'd worked in administrative jobs before. That's when I started to wonder if they'd looked at my resume at all.

At the end of our conversation the most relevant points were summarized by way of repeating them, and me confirming them as correct. Should I say that my lovely screener did not miss the chance to emphasise that I have worked in stressful jobs, and I understand that this is a stressful one,d as well. Then we ended the call by agreeing on that they would contact me latest within a week from now.

Quite honestly I still have my doubts about why I was offered another job than the one I've applied for,  without anyone telling me the reason for this. Also, when I did tell them quite clearly that one of the reasons I've chosen the job I did seek, was the skills I had, which on the contrary they did not need in this other position. But then again, it was certainly not the choice of their colleague who contacted me, as I couldn't get any answers from her on some very basic questions, either. That's it. We live in such a stressful world.

Friday, February 19, 2016

reflections on time

So I've checked my calendar again
and found out that I am still alive,
All this time with the clouds and the rain
it seemed like doomday has arrived


 
But now I don't feel so out of place
like a cow on the balcony,
And deep inside my inner space
I live in peace and harmony

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

BLINDFOLD (DAY TWO)

some people caughed as they passed by
one even stopped when i looked up
others laughed and they turned behind
someone nearly into me bumped

against my feet something rolled
an old nanny said sorry
because it was her dog's ball
so i just said don't worry

the rasta man moved up a bit
close to the concrete skeleton
of the long empty ghost building
on the sky were no clouds at all

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

UNEASE (DAY ONE)


i'm sitting by the river again
with the wind whirling dead leaves
and it makes them rattle against
the ground like horses at unease

the sun is so strong on my skin
though it is still only winter
and the dog at my feet's growling
as if it was an old computer

then the train takes off behind me
it's taking the first swing aloud
like hammers that make my ear ring
and i'm looking up at the clouds

Monday, February 15, 2016

The Jewish Doctor

In a movie I recently saw the son starts to see a shrink, hoping to get help from him that he doesn't seem to get from his family. This effects his reactions at home, too, and one night the worried grannie asks the mom "A Jewish doctor?" for which the mom answers "I don't know. I suppose he's Jewish, or maybe just German."

But it seems like that older generation might still recall something that happened back in the 1930's and 40's. I'm not quite sure though whether this grandmother was worried about the doctor having too many bad memories from the life of his family of obvious holocaust survivors, which could influence him doing a good job as a therapist, or she just chooses not to remember why these people with German names migrated to the States.

They had lived in Germany, or in different parts of Europe for hundreds of centuries. And yes, it happened before many times that some folks, feeling that them practicing another religion, that is not Jewish - or Islamic, for that matter -, would be best shown if they simply exterminate those who do. Maybe they tried to convert them first, or drove them out from the country empty handed. Well, how much can you carry with you? Probably not your house, your garden, or your shop. Not your life.

But in the second world war, or rather before it started, the Jews - at least some of them - had a choice to flee to another continent. And they had to go that far, because the whole of Europe was busy with collecting, humiliating, torturing, and eventually killing them all, not only Germany.
So, it was not so much of a choice, but the only way to survive, as by then the Islamic world wouldn't welcome them as much as some centuries ago, when they were able to live next to each other, and exchange so many things both in Europe and the in Middle-East. And it's true that the Soviet Union was also a huge country, or even only Russia, but there also many Jews had been killed for a while in well-organized pogroms.

So, yes, these people with German names arrived to a faraway land, but were still easy targets, maybe right because they were still an ethnic minority. And it's always easier to blame the smaller one who can't fight back so easily. Or it could be some other groups like gay people, who were also gathered by the Nazis and their collaborators, and utterly tortured, humiliated and killed in their death camps.

Because it just seems like people always need a scapegoat, someone to blame for something that actually was/not done by themselves, and not by those whom they are blaming for it.

Why am I writing this exactly now? Maybe because it's been a year ago that a Jewish man was killed outside a synagogue in Copenhagen. Maybe beacuse I am partly Jewish, and I am also gay. Though I didn't choose to be either of them. I was simply born in a family where one of the parents were of this origin. And I remember ever since my first childhood memories to have been attracted to other men. Also I was not raised as a Jew, not even ever told about it. I started to find out about it later, and also learned Hebrew. However, though I was interested the traditions and the culture, I have not started to practice the religion. Then I chose to get baptized as a Christian, but I am not a member of the church anymore. It doesn't mean I don't believe.

That Jewish man in Copenhagen was killed by a Muslim man of Palestinian origin, who was released from prison about two weeks before he did it. He was sentenced to one year prison for an unmotivated knife stabbing, where he later has reportedly become "extremely religious". Just before he killed this man and some others, and was trying to kill even more, he had sworn fidelity to the ISIS leader.

You could say we live in different times now, but the killer was not a new immigrant who arrived only recently along with the many many people who fled from the massacre. Both the victim, and the murderer have lived their whole life in Copenhagen.
There is a huge Muslim community in the Nordic countries. When I lived in Norway in 2014, at the time of the Gaza offensive, I remember the comments on Facebook from the Muslim people living there, and also from Norwegians. Nobody talked about what the people living in the Gaza stripe were doing to the Israelis. Only about Israelis murdering innocent people on the other side. And the reactions, pointing back to the holocaust.

So, actually we don't seem to forget some things, but we do choose to ignore others. That is exactly what I don't like in religious people or in general anyone who puts anything in front of other things or other people. I personally don't consider myself a Jew or a Christian, not even gay. I live with these things as part of my life and my personality, but I'd never choose to be only one of them.
Why? Because it's leading to a loss of identity, and then anyone becomes highly vulnerable and easy to control. I don't say that me being somewhat Jew or gay, or even a bit Serbian does not influence my life, and my decisions now and then. But I prefer not to let anything take over. I need balance to stay sane. I believe we all do.

In many countries in Europe there are extreme right wing movements, and their representatives have gained their way even into the European Parliament. They often refer to religion, too, just like the inquisition did. Therefore I'm not so sure if we really live in other - particularly not in modern - times.
What did these people learn from history then? That they can threaten and frighten, and even kill others for made up reasons without any consequences, what's more, even get help to do it. Because it has happened many times before, and we don't seem to remember, or pretend that it never did.

I remember that not so long ago, I told the others in the Hebrew course that I'm attending to brush up my language skills, how much I loved a tv series with Jewish actors. An elderly man asked how can you decide if someone is Jewish. I hope he didn't feel offended. Anyhow, my answer was exactly what that grandmother had said in that other movie upon hearing the shrink's name - that they have a name that refers to their origin. Actually the whole series is about a Jewish family, so it's easy to find out. But I'd even say that their - our - features tell something about where we're coming from. It's only that these things have so long been misused, that instead of naturally identifying ourselves by origin, name, nationality, features, traditions, we now feel, if we hear someone to refer to them, almost abused. Whereas all this is part of all people, something most of us are born into, so it's a natural part of us.

If we could all live our lives, and be ourselves, and share the good things with the others. But then of course, you say I'm an idealist. Then tell me why someone in their right mind would wage wars, and destroy people, cultures, lands and agriculture? Because they believe in a different way? Or for they speak another language? Maybe because they love in a different way? If we wouldn't force our own personality, our traditions, customs, and habits, and ways of life on others, but instead we would feel free and not be afraid of being who we are, and talking about it when asked, without expecting others to follow us, just because we think we're better, then we could see and accept the values in others.

Without feeling any need to believe in conspiracy theories, I guess it's clear for everyone that there is a powerful driving force in the background that makes it possible that wars are started over and over again, and that hatred against each other can be kept alive in this modern age, too. It's money, it's lust for power and the like of it. Even in the most democratic countries weapons are manifactured, also for export. Why would you do that if you really believe in democracy? Whose side are you on then, or are you selling those weapons to the people on both sides of the border?

Anyhow, I don't believe what some - actually many - people state, that the world is ruled by only a few families, amongst others the Rockefellers and the Rothschilds. I am so very happy that as a child I was not forced to choose any religion, or told how to feel about being myself, and that as a result I could so long keep my sanity, and see clearly in a world where it is very likely needed more than ever before. And I can only wish that everyone could do so, and not let themselves be influenced by propaganda, prejudice and gossips.