Monday, April 30, 2012

Del, it's okay

I haven't thought about it like that, that it only takes getting used to it. Of course, that's the way it can only go in many cases when everything else is out of your reach. Then you just have to accept what's given. Though you might feel itchy and maybe bitchy about it, but then time helps you to get over it.
Still, this condition got even the condition self worn. As she put it "You don't want my name. Trust me. You really don't. Sometimes I don't want my name. And I'm sort of used to it by now." And how much time it took for Delirium to get accustomed to not being Delight anymore? How much can it hurt to make you feel you're not hurt anymore?
Then you can't think anymore. Or maybe you just don't want to. Don't want to think or remember. Because it doesn't help. Also, you feel free to feel okay then. You can have some moments of fun. Oblivious, yet being yourself more than ever before. This might not free you completely, but can make you believe it momentarily.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

the Almighty's mouth

Which is best? Doing your job as good as you can, behaving yourself, and being friendly, so you show an example, a way for those around you. Assuming this way they can be happy or feel good. Or just being and letting them be. Maybe reading their optional futures in the cards, the tea leaves, whatever. Or pursuing to convince them one way or another to follow someone else's example. By giving them an example through your own life that's supposed to reflect for instance, God's life when He walked this Earth.
These are different ways which also leaves you feeling differently when you don't seem to succeed. When your colleagues, neighbors, family members or the people whom you believed to be your friends let you down. Even when you've tried to give them your best, doesn't matter based on what conviction. Maybe you did so simply because you saw they had a troubled time, and wanted to cheer them up. But you can't always succeed. Yet you can always try.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

the Almighty's ear

Some days ago while hitting the tube my good old paranoia hit back suddenly. It's an overwhelming feeling that others can read my mind. Not because they care and are interested, but maybe for the simple reason that all of our minds are in common use. So in a way it would be the same how those creatures in the Bodysnatchers movie communicated. However in our case there could be some truth in this, after all we're all connected with each other somehow, and also with the Creator of all things. And just thinking about how He might feel hearing our thoughts all the time... Now that was a rather saddening and sobering revelation.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

jitters

When you're told something will happen, but no time
does it mean then that it will happen in no time?
And when you can't help feeling that you have no time,
just watch a movie and note I'm changing the title :o)

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Je repars à zéro

Long long years can pass
before you turn back to something
Then you reach for a compass
made of your own memories


("je m'en fous" pour le chien)

Friday, April 6, 2012

Useless fixes

What's good of all the patches
the ones that let the stains come through,
Can long delayed meetings turn back time
will they make us feel the same way, too

Everyone's so indifferent
all do all the time seem so sour,
The sky above is brilliant
and it won't pretend it's ours

It contemplates what we've done
and stays there when we're long gone