It is more than funny that I just happened to read this story by Neil Gaiman entitled Closing Times before I'd share this dream of mine about such similar feelings of people at the same age facing the same fear.
I was back at primary school, in the dressing room next the gym hall located at the entrance of the building. There were two of us in there, but I can only remember knowing the person, but no face, name or if it was a real person from my life at all. Only that I was absolutely sure about their trustworthiness.
And then all of a sudden, this certainty ceased, as summers can when it's still sunny, but the air cools down and the trees, and even the plants inside the room, start to drop their leaves in a manic terror of loosing the life-giving sun. That's how it felt to realize that my mate was not to believe in.
I asked in growing horror if the third of us came out of the gym hall, too, before turning off the lights, and closing the door. As the answer was only a 'thought so' I felt nimble in mind, but lame in limbs to move at all. Now the door was open again, but for our call to the missing one we could only hear a strange noise, resembling of horse-shoes running around there, in the fully dark hall, with an ecstatic speed. That of a tiny insect which gets inside the circle of a lamplight, and is unable to get free of its spell anymore.
And while the moment of waiting passed, I could see an idiotic smile on the other's face turned into the blind blackness, looking at what we were already sure about, was not our forgotten friend.
I gathered my mind and force, and broke out of the place to the open air - though free air brought no free breath. The light outside was very dim, that of an already passed sunset. Also I was completely sure that by leaving the place I lost my fellow.
To answer my grim guess a Minotaur ran out of the building, and headed toward me. While I could only stand there all numb, fascinated by my own attraction to it. Simply for some crazy way of proving its ability to exist for me. I felt icy creeks running down my back, caused by the shock, as it was all so very very awful and never wished to be seen.
Ever since I used to wonder what would bring such nightmares alive. Only the noise factor like some banging somewhere in the building that woke me, or more. Is it fear, and of what? Is it the other people all the time, or myself?
I was back at primary school, in the dressing room next the gym hall located at the entrance of the building. There were two of us in there, but I can only remember knowing the person, but no face, name or if it was a real person from my life at all. Only that I was absolutely sure about their trustworthiness.
And then all of a sudden, this certainty ceased, as summers can when it's still sunny, but the air cools down and the trees, and even the plants inside the room, start to drop their leaves in a manic terror of loosing the life-giving sun. That's how it felt to realize that my mate was not to believe in.
I asked in growing horror if the third of us came out of the gym hall, too, before turning off the lights, and closing the door. As the answer was only a 'thought so' I felt nimble in mind, but lame in limbs to move at all. Now the door was open again, but for our call to the missing one we could only hear a strange noise, resembling of horse-shoes running around there, in the fully dark hall, with an ecstatic speed. That of a tiny insect which gets inside the circle of a lamplight, and is unable to get free of its spell anymore.
And while the moment of waiting passed, I could see an idiotic smile on the other's face turned into the blind blackness, looking at what we were already sure about, was not our forgotten friend.
I gathered my mind and force, and broke out of the place to the open air - though free air brought no free breath. The light outside was very dim, that of an already passed sunset. Also I was completely sure that by leaving the place I lost my fellow.
To answer my grim guess a Minotaur ran out of the building, and headed toward me. While I could only stand there all numb, fascinated by my own attraction to it. Simply for some crazy way of proving its ability to exist for me. I felt icy creeks running down my back, caused by the shock, as it was all so very very awful and never wished to be seen.
Ever since I used to wonder what would bring such nightmares alive. Only the noise factor like some banging somewhere in the building that woke me, or more. Is it fear, and of what? Is it the other people all the time, or myself?
It is quite a challenge to put these impressions all down, as you face them at the gate to the dreamworld, just when entering it, or maybe on your way back. So I might as well be thankful for my neighbs to wake me up right when I'm about to fall asleep, so often.
Story Sample - Neil Gaiman: The Monarch of the Glen
Silver Screen - Tsuruta Norio: Premonition
Song Selection - Brian Eno: Thursday Afternoon
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